True Devotion

There are jewels hidden from the harsh eyes of the world. One such jewel of a person is an elderly man in his 80s. Hunchbacked with a walk at the pace of a turtle, this man's will power is beyond his ability in age. He makes his way to the gurudwara sahib twice a day by bus even in the minus 30 degree weather of this city just to catch a glimpse of his true love, just to serve at the feet of the one that cherishes him. Today was one of those freezing winter days where he made his way by the transit bus but we were lucky enough to catch him going home before he had the chance to get to the bus shelter. "Baba ji! We can drop you off at home we are going the same way!". He was apprehensive to say the least but finally he hopped into the back seat of our truck. After reaching his home, he folded his hand in graditude to us and slowly made his way over to his doorstep. We waited to see if he would get in. 5 minutes had passed and despite his efforts in ringing the doorbell, no one answered. He frantically dug through the pockets of his jacket and kurta only to realize he had left his keys inside the house. "Baba ji! Come sit in the truck, its very cold...come to our house until your family comes home". Our pleas continued for at least 10 minutes but he wouldnt budge. "NO! I'm fine, I'm not cold", he argued, "I'm not worried about the cold, only the one above worries about the cold". Mind you, this man had on no gloves, no scarf, no longjohns. In this weather, one could suffer from frostbite within minutes of exposure. He continued, "The one above me takes care of me, only He worries for me, please go home now and stop worrying about me". There was still an hour before his family would come home from work. My heart sank, how could we just leave him here? What if he freezes to death? It was clear that he was getting very agitated with us. What could be done? His trust in Waheguru was stronger than any plea we could've made to him. Eventually, we left. I can't stop feeling guilty about leaving him but I learned a very valuable lesson today about trusting God even in the most difficult situations. And to respect my elders. Elder abuse should never happen...give your parents and grandparents rides people! They shouldn't have to take the bus while you ride around in your car like an asshole. It doesnt matter how much they refuse because they want to feel independent...its YOUR duty to make sure they get to places safely.

Death.

Went to a funeral for the first time today. Was kind of scared at first of seeing a dead body, of seeing things I have heard about, and just feeling really awkward.
I must say...it did make me think.
Today I conceptualized death in a whole new way. Before today, death was something only figurative in my mind. I mean, I know that it is inevitable, but I constantly forget that its a reality and that its occurrence is completely random. That when it happens, whether its your own death or a death of a loved one, things change dramatically. It was today that I realized that I'm always constantly forgetting that I am going to have to transition when this change happens.
Questions that crossed my mind as I stood in the crowded funeral home: when I look back at what I've done in my life, how will it effect my afterlife? What types of things will I have to repent for? What things, if any, will I be given peace for? Where does my fate lie? How will people react to my death? How will I be remembered, if I am even remembered at all?
The most important thought that has always astounded me is the thought of not existing. Of not being in this mirage of a world any more....of not being present in this temporary and perceived reality.
Today, I took away more than I expected as I cannot simply forget where I've been and where I'm headed. All I hope is that I am able to accept His will and that those around me will too when death happens to strike.
Rest in peace.

Rage attack.

I loathe it when people I know who are in relationships or currently married try to cheer me up about being single. I often get responses like, "don't worry...you will find someone" or "there's someone out there for you".
Please...spare me your empty premonitions. You cant guarantee that I will find someone or that there is someone out there for me. You cannot assure me that.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to die a lonely woman.
Here's a thought: how about you offer me your help?....you seem to be happily in love...show me how you did it!
Better yet...do you know a friend of a friend of a friend?
No you don't.
Because you are selfish and you want to rub it in my face.
Good day sir or ma'am.

Teenage Angst

Screams. Slams the door shut.
I'm acting out. Its rebellious. It makes me feel alive.
Two years passed my teenage era and I decide to start living it now.
I'm acting out so I can get what I want and to prove to you I now have the balls.
I don't care...I'm done caring...
Its teenage angst baby. Its back full throttle. Deal with it.

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Just kidding, too mature for that sh*t. But I do miss it...should've lived it up while I still could.
Final projects, final papers, final exams. That is all.

Poison.

A psychic once read my palm (by force...he grabbed my hand). He told me I was going to be so rich that dollar bills are going to fall from the sky and that I wont even know where its all coming from. While this would make your ordinary money hungry Joe excited beyond belief...it makes me sick. Ready for a cliche? I promise you its not a cliche...it just sounds like one but its truth:
I would trade every single dollar I had for love and happiness in this lifetime.
See...told you it sounded cliche...whatever...love and happiness are much more important...I would blow all those dollar bills on designer shoes and bags anyways and although that would make me happy for a while...sadly, the adrenaline rush doesnt last.
So then, what constitutes as love and happiness? Those definitions, my friend, only belong to me.
I'm done with the excessive spending...none of it gives me satisfaction. So why does it keep coming my way? I didnt ask for it...and I certainly never wanted it. I am slowly being poisoned. Everyones watching me die painfully as I swallow it. I can assure you...coins do not taste like chocolate...except if they are made out of chocolate...in which case mine arent. FML.

Superficiality

You're the first one to call her out if she gets regular laser treatments.
Yet, would you have even considered her as a partner if she didnt?
Sweetheart, save your breath.
We all know you want your Aishwarya Rai Mr. Singh.
The girl with the turban just aint cuttin it.
Say what?
Yeah...you heard me.

Soul mate.

Everyone has one. That one person that you connect with. That one person you meet but for some reason you can never leave. They were made for you as you were made for them.
Everyone has one. Everyone except for me.
Oh soul mate: if you exist, please come find me.
I'm not doing so well.
It gets more treacherous by the day.
Patience is not a virtue I possess.