Tough Love

I've been thrashed, thwarted, kicked around and took it to heart with so much negativity.
But with His grace, I realized, what a gift! What a gift it is to serve you while our ego is being thrashed and thwarted! But STILL but STILL I complain! But STILL I get depressed! The irony!
I've felt unlucky for so long...how? How could I have felt unlucky when you constantly gave me your hand!? Oh Waheguru! Bless us with your love, your seva, your charan, your darshan, your naam, your, your, YOU, YOU, YOU!
When no one cares, when no one even knew my name, no one is in love with me, no one wants me, when I get beat down, down, down...

ham rulathae firathae koee baath n pooshathaa gur sathigur sang keerae ham thaapae
I was rolling around in the dirt, and no one cared for me at all. In the Company of the Guru, the True Guru, I, the worm, have been raised up and exalted.

dhann dhann guroo naanak jan kaeraa jith miliai chookae sabh sog santhaapae 4 5 11 49
Blessed, blessed is the Guru of servant Nanak; meeting Him, all my sorrows and troubles have come to an end. 4 5 11 49

Blessed Blessed Blessed is Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji!
Blessed is the time when I will realize that there is no I but there is YOU and only YOU.
Because without YOU, who am I!?

Pauree:
Serve the Immaculate Lord God, and meditate on the Lord's Name.
Join the Society of the Holy Saints, and be absorbed in the Lord's Name.
O Lord, glorious and great is service to You; I am so foolish
- please, commit me to it. I am Your servant and slave; command me, according to Your Will.
As Gurmukh, I shall serve You, as Guru has instructed me. 2

Please commit me to it. Now is the time! There may not be any other time. Time is running, running, running...

Doomsday

I'm so sick and tired of sitting on the sidelines and just watching.

Time is ticking away. There's not much time left.

Nothing has been accomplished. Everyday is just empty repitition.

When will I meet You, O my Beloved Lord?

When will change come? When will I awaken from this sleep?

This is my condition:

His service is insignificant, but his demands are very great.

He does not obtain the Mansion of the Lord's Presence, but he says that he has arrived there1

He competes with those who have been accepted by the Beloved Lord.

This is how stubborn the false fool is! 1Pause

He wears religious robes, but he does not practice Truth.
He says that he has found the Mansion of the Lord's Presence, but he cannot even get near it. 2
He says that he is unattached, but he is intoxicated with Maya.
There is no love in his mind, and yet he says that he is imbued with the Lord. 3
Says Nanak, hear my prayer, God:
I am silly, stubborn and filled with sexual desire - please, liberate me! 4
I gaze upon the glorious greatness of the Blessed Vision of Your Darshan.
You are the Giver of Peace, the Loving Primal Being. 1 Second Pause 1 7

It's all talk. All show, no go. Nothing has actually been done...yet. There's a tiny bit of hope though. A longing for gain. All I really want is Him in the end, no matter how blindsided I get. Desires are temporary and they can be fulfilled at anytime with little effort. Now is the time to work hard for what truly matters.

Now, what efforts should I make?
How can I dispel the anxieties of my mind? How can I cross over the terrifying world-ocean? 1Pause
Obtaining this human incarnation, I have done no good deeds; this makes me very afraid!
In thought, word and deed, I have not sung the Lord's Praises; this thought worries my mind. 1
I listened to the Guru's Teachings, but spiritual wisdom did not well up within me; like a beast, I fill my belly.
Says Nanak, O God, please confirm Your Law of Grace; for only then can I, the sinner, be saved. 2 4 9 13 58 4 93

Please please please grace me!

I Have More Followers Than You!

One day, Maya said to Parmatma "In this world, I have more followers and worshippers than you". Parmatma replied, "really now? we shall see..."
Parmatma then dressed up as a Saadhu, or saint, and visited a poor man's house. The poor man welcomed the holy being into his home and offered him vacancy for the night. Parmatma agreed but only on the condition that he stayed in a room that is cut off from the outside world and that he would be the only one in that empty room. The poor man agreed and Parmatma locked himself in for the night.
A little while later (surprise, surprise) Maya decided to also visit this poor man so she dressed herself up as a beautiful woman...she looked quite attractive. When she arrived at the poor man's house he was breathtaken by her beauty. She drank from a golden cup which she then threw to the ground. The poor man picked it up and then handed it to her saying, "hey...you dropped this," to which she then replied, "no no my friend...this is your cup now".
"For realz!?" the poor man thought, "she gives me golden gifts! She must stay here!"
The poor man then preceded to ask Maya if she wanted to stay at his house, but she asked for an empty room which was isolated from the outside world. "I have only one room that fits your desire but a holy Saadhu is living there," he explained.
Without much convincing, the poor man decided to kick the Saadhu out since this enticing woman would provide him with luxury.
When Maya and Parmatma met, they instantly recognized eachother despite their outer forms.
"HA, I told you so...you just got kicked out of this guys house cause he likes me more," Maya chuckled, "this proves that I have more worshippers than you!"
Alas, it is true...we poor mortal beings are always enticed and pursuaded by Maya, we prefer her over Waheguru. She provides us with comforts, luxuries, and a false sense of belonging. May we find strength in us to become the slaves of Waheguru, not Maya.
(Story told by my Mata Ji who heard it in katha once...forgive me but I've spiced it up a bit...I hope the moral hasn't changed)

The Lord Incarnated

Dhan Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji Maharaj!

jab lo nehee bhaag lilaar oudhai thab lo bhramathae firathae bahu dhaayo
As long as the destiny written upon my forehead was not activated, I wandered around lost, running in all directions.

kal ghor samudhr mai booddath thae kabehoo mitt hai nehee rae pashuthaayo
I was drowning in the horrible world-ocean of this Dark Age of Kali Yuga, and my remorse would never have ended.

thath bichaar yehai mathuraa jag thaaran ko avathaar banaayo
O Mat'huraa, consider this essential truth: to save the world, the Lord incarnated Himself.

japayo jina arajun dhaev guroo fir sankatt jon garabh n aayo 6
Whoever meditates on Guru Arjun Dayv, shall not have to pass through the painful womb of reincarnation ever again. 6

Oh my mind...meditate on Him, never forgetting.
Meditate on the One who has sacrificed everything.
Meditate on His beautiful and radiant presence.
Your protector, your love, your everything.

Tantrums

When things dont go our way we tend to throw fits of rage, tantrums as you will. I tend to over dramatize mine with yelling at extreme volumes. Because we forget. How we always forget...

baarik vaagee ho subh kish mungaa
Like a child, I ask for everything.
dhaedhae thott naahee prubh rungaa
God is Bountiful and Beautiful; He never comes up empty.
pairee pai pai buhuth munaaee dheen dhaeiaal gopaalaa jeeo
Again and again, I fall at His Feet. He is Merciful to the meek, the Sustainer of the World. 3

What if we always just fell at His feet? He never fails us, so why do we always fail Him?

thin kuruthai eik khael ruchaaeiaa
The One Creator has set this play in motion.
kaaeiaa sureerai vich subh kish paaeiaa
In the frame of the human body, He has placed all things.
subadh bhaedh koee mehul paaeae mehulae mehal bulaavaniaa
Those few who are pierced through by the Word of the Shabad, obtain the Mansion of the Lord's Presence. He calls them into His Wondrous Palace. 3

Its His play, some He keeps close and some He keeps far away.
As He commands, that is what we are destined to do.
I'm interested. How do we stay pierced forever? The Maya is so strong now, it'll do everything in its power to knock us off. So what can us poor beings do?
That sweet nectar, that exhiliration that cannot be described, how can we make it last!?

The soul cries in anguish at the loss.

koee aan koee aan milaavai maeraa sathigur pooraa raam
If only someone would come, if only someone would come, and lead me to meet my Perfect True Guru.

Is there anyone?

*Cough*

With this icky flu going around, its hard not to get worried especially when the media throws it in your face constantly haha.
Yes, my friends, the swine flu. No, wait, its called H1N1 now I think? Meh same nuisance.
Anywho, with any sickness, the Guru is there. Always.
Here's a shabad I really love because I'm always in bad shape and lately, my whole family has been feeling under the weather.

sorat(h) mehalaa 5

janam janam kae dhookh nivaarai sookaa man saadhhaarai
He dispels the pains of countless incarnations, and lends support to the dry and shrivelled mind.

dharasan bhaettath hoth nihaalaa har kaa naam beechaarai 1
Beholding the Blessed Vision of His Darshan, one is enraptured, contemplating the Name of the Lord. 1

maeraa baidh guroo govi(n)dhaa
My physician is the Guru, the Lord of the Universe.

har har naam aoukhadhh mukh dhaevai kaattai jam kee fa(n)dhhaa 1 rehaao
He places the medicine of the Naam into my mouth, and cuts away the noose of Death. 1Pause

samarathh purakh pooran bidhhaathae aapae karanaihaaraa
He is the all-powerful, Perfect Lord, the Architect of Destiny; He Himself is the Doer of deeds.

apunaa dhaas har aap oubaariaa naanak naam adhhaaraa 2634
The Lord Himself saves His slave; Nanak takes the Support of the Naam. 2 6 34

So don't you worry! Remember the true physician...

On a side note, Bhai Harjinder Singh Ji rocks! We've been so lucky to have his sangat for this week past: Please click here to find a page where you can download many many MANY of his tracks including the shabad above.

You're welcome ;)

Tick.Tock.

Taking a "study break". A long one I guess. My life seems to be a "study break" haha.
Exams. Ulgh. But the local Nagar Kirtan is next week! aaaaand...the moment I've waited for, for 2 long years (missed the last year)....Vancouver May Smagam time...in about 3 weeks! Yeh-yah!
Its such a magical time. One of those pick-me-ups when you're feeling down. One of those moments you wish lasted forever so you savour every second of it.
.
.
.
.
.
Too much day dreaming, must get back to crammin'!
Reality bites.